CHAPTER ONE

Ilfa is the Light.

She created the Great Star from the Light and set it before Her. She was One and alone. A long shadow cast out behind Her. Darkness grew in the fissures of Her Shadow. At the terminus of the Shadow she set the distance of all things, things that were to come after. So far did the Great Star’s light extend, that determining the shadow’s limit was near unmeasurable. Its extreme became the Abyss. Ilfa did not take her eyes from the Light in this moment, but the Darkness was not ignored. She felt it well enough, the void of the Light behind Her.

She set forth the ground, which divided the shadow and light. Beneath the ground, the Light no longer passed. Darkness deepened in the separation and became whole. The ground spread across the Abyss until it was sealed away.

In the Light, she planted a seed. Yet nothing occurred.

She spoke to it. Mathelian, grow forth and let Time emerge from stillness and eternity.

So did the tree sprout from the soil. It grew slowly. Eons passed by mortal measure, but the ceaseless light fed it. The breath of Ilfa filled it. The Mathelian was of Her and possessed its own thoughts and feelings. It spread its roots deep into the ground, where the light failed. The roots delved thrice as deep as it stood above ground. Ilfa nodded in approval and said this was good.

It was filled with Light of the Great Star and cast no shadow itself. It grew rapidly and pushed the Great Star farther and farther away. The canopy spread wide and far, the roots pushed the ground out as thrice as far as the canopy above.

It and the Great Star became the center of all things.

The Tree ceased growing and blossomed a million, million flowers. Ilfa wept at the beauty, for it was the first instance that beauty grew from Her on its own accord. The tears pooled at her feet. She wiped Her eyes and flung the tears above Her, which disturbed the petals and caused a breeze, taking the petals away. The petals danced and swirled around the Great Star, as did Her tears, each glimmering like birthing stars. It inspired Ilfa to do more.

The tears below became new lights of consciousness, Her First Order of angels, the Joy of Ilfa. She gathered them up and brought them into the light of the Great Star.

II

She spoke to them. This is the Eternal Light from which I am and will always be. It is a part of me as you are a part of me. Yet in you is something unique, not me, but apart of me. Beauty is being loved and sharing what you love. You are loved, and from you, love will flourish and grow.

Ilfa made a vessel and placed it within the light of the Great Star. The starlight created new hues of color and scintillated with life.

This light caused the tree to swell with fruit, which too was filled with the new light of the Great Star. She invited the angels to take a fruit and taste it. They did. It nourished them and gave them visions of the moment they were created. It moved them greatly and inspired them to have a similar experience. Each added their light, their thoughts and emotions, to the Great Star, and it swelled even more. Then each angel had a glimpse in their mind something of creation, a new creation.

They returned to Ilfa and reported their vision, of an expanse of worlds filled with many colors and shapes and sizes that seemed limitless. As they spoke, through Ilfa’s will, all took shape in the vessel within the Great Star.

She retrieved the vessel which was now filled with the First Order’s visions. Ilfa split the vessel and the contents expanded around them. This became the universe and everything in it, with Ilfa and the Joy of Ilfa, centered amongst the expanse. The tree petals were pulled into the great expanse and became the stars in the night sky.

The Abyss was pushed farther away.

This new vision, inspired such beauty and awe in the angels. They wept with joy and in their tears came the next Order, the Joy of the Prime. They awakened and met Ilfa and the first Order. These angels soon had an affinity with the universe as they were created soon after. Ilfa allowed the Second Order to find one world and make of it what they will.

So they identified such a planet and created vast oceans, blue skies, uplifted the mountains and carved deep canyons. They made it beautiful as best they could judge, yet it seemed empty, in a fashion. It was set among a single star with other planets around it. It was given moons to keep it company.

The sense of wonder came over them as they understood all that Ilfa allowed had some purpose and deep meaning.

The Angels cried in celebration of the new creation and Ilfa called it good. These tears fell on the earth and soaked into the rocks, the fields, the water and the sky. These became the spirits of the world, The Third Order, and were to remain hidden, but move the earth in ways instructed by Ilfa. When the wind stirred, its source of movement was found in these spirits. When the rain would fall, it was the doing of these spirits. When the earth shook, the flowers blossomed, the seasons changed, all of it was the machinations of the spirits that caused change.

These spirits were divided into Five: earth, fire, water, air and aethyr. Each had its part in not just the world, but the entire universe.

Yet, there was one more element unknown to the angels, the strongest of elements, for it was Ilfa’s second creation after the Great Star. It was Entropy, the Spirit of Darkness. It dwelled where the light would not. It flourished where life could not. It undid the bonds of the angels and grew exponentially. It swallowed the stars and left empty expanse of darkness in its wake. It stilled all that was determined to move and quieted all that dared a sound.

The angels took notice of this strange force, at the edge of all things, eating its way inward. They cried out to Ilfa, scared and baffled.

What is this thing that swallows the light, that cancels the good things you have ordained?

It is a necessary thing that belongs to this universe. It is my Shadow. It is my window into creating an Other, something that has its source in me, yet not me. To create you, it needed to first exist. Know this, only I can undo what has its source in me. So is my Shadow doing just that. Shadows are incapable of casting out the Light, it is the Light that casts out Shadow. In this universe, both shadow and light exist. Both hot and cold permeate. So will Life and Death. But those that dwell in the Light of the Great Star, will never know the darkness or death. That is my Promise to all my Children.

The First Order of Angels understood the message the best, but the Second Order struggled, and the Third were terrified. As they developed intimate bonds to the universe, the Second and Third Orders strongly felt the destruction of their creations, and it hurt them, scared some of them, and even inflicted them with melancholy.

What you sense is Death, Ilfa said. In a way, it is not as pleasing as creation. It can be displeasing to those that have a perspective rooted in this universe only, but come to my side, Children, Ilfa called to all her angels.

They all returned to the light of the Great Star. Then all their grief and doubt washed away, bathed by the Light. There was no more darkness, no more loss, only creation, only Her.

This is the ultimate state of being. I am the Light. The Light is me. It is a Promise Unbroken. Stay with me and this is your sanctuary. Out there, is being in between, and all things must return to their origins, even the Shadow will diminish.

For there is wisdom in contrast. Light against Light can obscure its purpose to some. Light against Dark brings the meaning of Light into clear focus.

The angels took solace in Her words, and grew wise. They then understood all was arranged so they could learn and be in more accord to Ilfa, not through bondage, but of their own volition. So they understood, as She acted in her own volition, so She desired of them. This was Her highest blessing.

There was one chief angel amongst the First Order that remained fascinated by the Shadow. He was called Liosalfyr, the Light Bearer, and he was the most powerful and intelligent amongst the Orders. He noted how the angels reacted to the Shadow. It seemed more powerful than any of them, or all of them together, and Ilfa Herself claimed it was Her equal. As Ilfa gathered them around the Great Star and spoke Her words, he chose to listen to his own thoughts, and contemplated the meaning of what they witnessed.

Ilfa intentionally distanced Herself from Darkness and led the others from it too. Liosalfyr sensed the tremendous power in the Shadow. Was there a purpose to it? It instilled a new and unknown emotion up to that moment. Fear. Terror. Sorrow washed over his kind. Could that be what Ilfa did not desire for them? That this fear, dread and sorrow be something they possess. If she did not desire it, then why create it? It was so puzzling, Liosalfyr did not hear or heed Ilfa’s words, and Ilfa took notice.

Ilfa asked Her angels, which do you care most about in all that you experienced?

 It was a difficult question, for so much had delighted them. But without fail, they answered. You, our God, is what we treasure the most.

Ilfa smiled and embraced them in gratitude. That is good. Second to Me, what delights you most from all your experiences? She asked openly, but it was as if She posed the question to each individually. Before they spoke, Ilfa understood the answers.

I will reveal to you another Order, that of mortal humans of whom will have physical forms. They will not be as you, who dwell in the Light. They will instead dwell in the expanse, in the world you helped shape. They will seem lesser to you, but they will become higher than you all. They will climb the Mathelian and sit in its boughs, and drink in the Light of the Great Star. Mark my word, each of you will shower them with praise, for they will be a marvel and craft a story so epic, it would be beyond all of you to invent. It will be a story of loss and triumph, of great adversity and hope.

Who can these people be? And why place them so low if they are to be so high? Liosalfyr asked openly.

If that is what God desires, why do you question brother? Another angel asked gently.

We would love if they dwelled here with us, in the Light, said another. That Shadow does not seem suitable for such High Ones to be placed in such proximity. Will they not fear it as we?

Ilfa smiled. You are the Bright Ones, the Shining Ones. They will look to you and wonder how mighty ones would associate with them at all. You see, they are your shadows. As I cast a shadow, you all have cast a shadow too. But they are not destined to the Abyss. They will be called into Heaven. They will reunite with their Heavenly Hosts and be transformed. The Darkness shall fall away and Light shall once again be everlasting.

The angels became silent contemplating God’s words.

Ah, my most Everlasting Light, said one angel. It is as you spoke before. The light must be placed beside the dark to understand its essence. So, these people must look into Darkness and Light. This angel was called Visiriel, she knew Ilfa’s nature the best and became her most loyal disciple.

To know its purpose and value, said another, named Quasariem.

They cannot be High Ones because it is not a thing that is granted, it is earned, continued Visiriel. It is made into existence by their will. They must choose to become the High Ones.

Precisely. It is a reward, the gift is the choice to be, said Quasariem,

And the other choice, what would that be then? Liosalfyr asked.

It will be my eternal sorrow, of which I have yet to know, replied Ilfa.

Yet you know all things my God, how can you not know what you name? Asked Liosalfyr.

A good point. Does Light know Dark? Does Sound know Silence? Does Matter know Emptiness? I tell you it does for I see it already begin in you, answer Ilfa. And like you, I know even that of which I am not.

What do you mean my Eternal Light? Your riddles are beyond my understanding, Liosalfyr said.

Then I offer you this advice. Seek first to understand, then to know.

As you command, my God.

You mistake me angel. My words were not commands, it is my guidance.

I have learned much in these moments.

So, I hope, Liosalfyr, the Light Bearer, chief of all angels. You, I need more than any for the High Ones to ascend to my side.

The exchange dulled his senses, but these last words cut Liosalfyr deeply. As the gathering turned to merriment, Liosalfyr returned to his contemplation of Entropy.

III

Time passed between the fashioning of the universe and the coming of the next Order, the High Ones. Ilfa did not speak of when they would come into being and the angels cared not to ask, for they trusted it would come to pass when deemed the right time.

In anticipation, the angels spoke frequently of the High Ones. Their mystery became a fascination. It was a strange thing because not one angel, who are capable of many astounding acts of creation, could conceive of the form the High Ones would take. Liosalfyr believed that their ability to conceive them was inhibited only, and perhaps he would better understand them in their world. Because the beings would dwell outside the Center, conceiving them was elusive. They would be in the Darkness, the curious and frightening Darkness, where the Orders were forbidden to go.

When the angels asked Ilfa for more news of the High Ones, She smiled and said, more will be revealed when they come into being.

The First Order created more expanses during this period, but these were set aside by Ilfa. These universes were like the first, but were just as dreams, conjured up but not possessing the authenticity of the prime universe. Liosalfyr concluded, Ilfa must be actively preventing them from knowing the High Ones. And he interpreted his fellow’s actions of manifesting new expanses as an attempt to conceive of the very thing he desired to know. The identity of the High Ones.

But when he spoke of his frustrations to others, they simply replied, the High Ones are a mystery, but so is Ilfa. We will know when she deems it so.

Each angel was seemingly content in their ignorance.

But this mystery frustrated Liosalfyr further. If the High Ones were their shadows, then there must be some power placed there in. Liosalfyr wondered, if the angels knew fear, could Ilfa? And did she fear one of Her angels become mightier than She? Could it be that this was the reason she separated them from the Dark?

Liosalfyr deviated from the others in the First Order, his thoughts remained on the prime universe and Entropy. He wondered at its mystery and secrets. How would the universe change if he took it and made it work for him and became its Master. These High Ones were their shadows. Perhaps their purpose was not to come into the Light if their nature was the Dark. Ilfa admitted Light and Dark were opposed, would it be Wise to bring them to the Light? Would they want to come or would they desire to remain as Shadows. For that, too, was the personification of Ilfa by Her own admission.

Liosalfyr departed the Center and came into the wide universe. It was cold, empty and dark throughout. He sought to understand the Darkness. Deep into his journey, he heard the voice of Ilfa.

Great angel, you belong to the Light, why do you search for that thing which is not your nature?

My God, it has sat in my thoughts since it was revealed. You created me to have thoughts, to be curious, to possess a power that allows me to wield many substances of the universe. Is this not a thing I should understand and make useful?

If it was as you spoke, then that would be what I revealed to you or any other. Are you not concerned for how the others reacted? Does that not give you a sense of precaution and an understanding to tread lightly or consult in me?

Liosalfyr thoughts were not aligned to Ilfa and he knew he could not hide the truth. Yes, I did consider what you suggested and I understood the words you would speak. It was not to my favor, thus I proceeded how I desired. How is there harm, my omnipotent Love? I am living up to my nature. I am seeking to understand and looking for answers to my questions.

Questions you do not voice and instead to seek meaning alone. You need to consider what I am going to say next, great and beloved angel, chief of all angels. To dwell in the Light is to be in accord with my Will, my Hopes, and my Love. You are risking all three with your plans. My Will is to keep you in the Light. I need you, the Light Bearer to bring the High Ones through their journey. That is of paramount importance. This path you set on does not align to that purpose.

My Hope is that you care for my intentions, care for your brothers and sisters and make peace within yourself, for you will not be able to know all there is to know. That is not possible because you are not I.

Last, Love is demonstrated by setting aside what you desire at times and instead place your efforts in providing for the needs of others. Love demands sacrifices or it would not be Love, it would be desire only. That is my Love I wish to know from you.

Liosalfyr felt tremendous guilt and terrible anger all at once. What you say pains me, my God. Why would you hurt me with words, afflict me with torment? How is that Love?

Now you understand a little more of my plans. It is this place. It is the Darkness and the Light intermingling in you. This struggle, this torment is what the High Ones will endure as they will be more vulnerable than angels. Their uncertainty and doubt they will face is vast. It is what they will have to endure throughout Life until Death. You, alone, now understand this more than all my angels, and they will be uncountable to the mortals. At this moment, you have fulfilled your purpose. There is more for you to fulfill in my purpose, come back to the Center and dwell there in Eternity.

Liosalfyr felt shame in that moment, and gratefulness for a compassionate God. I am nothing without you Ilfa. You have humbled me and I’ve learned the error of my ways. I want to be the one that guides these people to the Light. By your grace I follow you back to the Light.

To do so will make you the highest of angels. That is good.

Liosalfyr came back to the Light and the Center. He walked amongst the angels who cheered on his return. They asked where he went and what he did. Liosalfyr felt very different in their presence, changed, wiser and even superior. He spoke, I did a thing that raised me in the eyes of Ilfa, who heralds me Highest of angels. I sought to understand the High Ones and how best I can serve them. I sought to contemplate that in the Twilight of the Universe. Through Ilfa’s instruction I have gained a newfound wisdom. It is I that will usher the High Ones to the Light, as appointed by our Love Ilfa, and I will need your assistance. Who will join me?

The angels’ response was strange and a murmur arose in them. One whispered, he speaks in the manner of Ilfa, and it does not gladden my heart. Another wondered, what change came over he, he seems different than us, just as he states.

Hearing of Liosalfyr’s actions, the Second Order spoke up to Ilfa, Eternal Light we have a request. We thought it not worthy to mention, but hearing Liosalfyr’s experience, it makes us bold to state our desire.

Liosalfyr’s words greatly troubled Ilfa, but she first listened to the others. Yes, speak your desire.

You asked us what we delighted in; second to you, it was the world we helped fashion. Our brethren, the Third Order, dwell there and help shape and bring it into being. Some of us desire to dwell on the surface as well, to oversee their work, and perhaps as Liosalfyr suggested, we can help the High Ones on their journey as he. We are not of that distinguished Order, but we might be of service and use.

Is this your desire then? Ilfa asked. It is a great thing you request. If it were granted, there are consequences of which is now unforeseen to you. Liosalfyr, what is your mind on this matter. As you say, you dwelled the longest in the universe and experienced things the others have not. Would it be wise to send them down during the age of the High Ones or would it be best for them to remain in the Light?

Liosalfyr knew the response Ilfa desired, but as he reflected on his experience, his treatment by Ilfa, finding her favor again. He did not wish to have others lifted to his elevated status. To understand and experience the turmoil the High Ones will face. It was a knowledge he desired to keep for himself and not share, less they become greater than he in the eyes of Ilfa.

He haughtily shook his head at the Second Order, Ilfa had advised me that we of the First and Second Order were meant to dwell in the Light. The universe is for the High Ones, it is a purpose Ilfa bestowed on them and no one else. I understand desire, but we must submit ourselves to Ilfa’s will. We must obey out of Love.

Ilfa understood Liosalfyr’s thoughts and feelings as he repeated Her message, but kept what else they spoke about in silence. It was deceitful because what remained hidden was not for the purpose of protecting his brothers and sisters, but to keep them from what he perceived as a boon he obtained.

Liosalfyr, Ilfa spoke in a tone that was not heard before. It was grim and stern. You have not learned a thing if you stop short of the message I shared with you. It is to the benefit of all and certainly you, to reveal all that was spoken to you amongst the stars.

Liosalfyr bowed beneath her words. I learned there are many secrets kept from us and when you approach the meaning, Ilfa acts to protect Her power, and drew me back.

Carefully measure your words angel, for you stand in the Light of the Great Star. I do not keep secrets. And you mistake discretion as such. In time, and when is appropriate, I reveal what should be known. It is for me to judge. As is in all things. Rescind your misspoken words, before they offend further.

Liosalfyr cowered beneath Ilfa’s words. Each syllable, a heavy burden upon him. He stumbled. Those angels around, braced him. He panicked and whispered.

I learned the mightiest secret she keeps from us, I learned of the power of the Shadow. The Light blinds you all, for Light on Light conceals that which is to be true! Darkness is the true state of being, for it remains when Light passes. Darkness alone gives Light purpose! It ends Light which is the source of Her fear, and Ilfa retreats and begs us to follow. I have learned this secret for I sought for the answers she is not willing to provide.

Enough! Ilfa bellowed and all the heavens shook. The ground cracked and heaved. The Mathelian swayed and the Great Star pulsed like a pounding heart.

You wound Me my child, you wound us all with your vile words. I cannot abide evil. I cannot abide treachery. And I cannot abide lies.

Liosalfyr fairest of all angels, erupted in flame beneath the Light of the Great Star. He cried out in anguish as his shadow was cast upon the ground. He sank into the heaving ground and was pulled under and pummeled in the fissures. He grasped at the Mathelian roots desperate to escape but the holy tree burned his hands. He plummeted through into the Darkness until he sunk into the Abyss. The smoke of his form filled it with a terrible stench. He asphyxiated and remained broken in form.

Yet, his slander did not remain with him alone. His whispers quickly passed through such a great Host. The Host was divided, as those that beheld the great Entropy, were lured by the lies spoken, and doubted in those moments they were treated fairly, that Ilfa had their interests in mind.

Many thought, the Darkness is why the High Ones will be greater than we. They will grow mighty outside the Light and we will be fools for not desiring it ourselves.

And they too, were scorched by the Light of the Great Star, cast out shadows of hate which sunk into the ground. They fell into the fissures and were mashed against the heaving soil, until they passed into the Abyss with their chief angel.

A stunning silence enveloped the center. What was unimaginable occurred in the smallest of moments. Out in the universe, a third of the stars dimmed and were snuffed out.

So ends the First Chapter.